This is an idea that also worked itself out in the pre-dawn moments of my sleep before I awoke on Easter Sunday. In my dream I saw myself asking for help from my friends and I saw them being SUPER supportive and encouraging. I saw the chains of my pride fall and give way to a freedom that felt so real and warm that when I woke up, it was as if I was in autopilot, I just knew what I had to do. Have you ever experienced a moment like that? Where you just know what you need to do, and the effort doesn't feel like effort, it feels natural and almost automatic? Well, that's what it was like for me.
I walked into the home office and logged onto facebook, where I began tentatively, kind of testing the water with my toes to see how chilly it was, which is kind of funny, because those of you who know me well and have known me for years, know that I am NOT that girl! I am the girl who just blasts off the bridge or embankment and bombs right in, no matter how cold the water is. But matters of pride, beliefs, and emotion are WAY scarier than even the unknown depths of icy cold water.
It took me two status updates, a couple of warm, supportive comments, and the courage was bolstered enough to strip away the pride, let the stubborn side of me go, and come clean to all who purport to "know" me, and tell the truth of my situation; my house is in foreclosure.
Talk about taking a LOAD off! Wow! It was such a huge relieving feeling for me to take the mask off and stop pretending that everything is hunky-dory. So if any of you have some deep, dark, awful monkey on your back (aka: a difficult conversation, telling the truth about some deep dark secret, whatever), my suggestion is to get it off your chest. You might be pleasantly surprised at how relieving it is.
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